Tag Archives: funny

The Great White North Shark

And Other Things I’ve learned As a Bachelor -Part 66     I pet a shark once. It smiled at me and swam away. I believe we are off to a good start! ••• A fight with a Blue Shark … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned as a Bachelor -Lesson 14

Irons. They’re stupid. In a pinch, hang clothes on shower curtain bar. Turn shower on hot. Spend 10 minutes looking for tv remote -psst- it’s in the fridge. Go back to bathroom. Viola!  Clothes are near mint! ••• Secret Ingredients for Bachelors: … Continue reading

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Things I’ve Learned As A Bachelor -Lesson 23

On Soup Tomato soup can save your life. Your life, not mine. I hate the stuff. ••• I believe that tomato soup may have procreative abilities behind closed cupboard doors. Whenever I go rummaging I always seem to have way more of … Continue reading

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So How’s Your Day Going?

True Stories, gleaned from a variety of sources….    The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back … Continue reading

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Things I Am Thankful For…a -not so comprehensive- List

    ” I may not be where I want to be but I’m thankful for not being where I used to be.” -Habeeb Akande As the year draws to close I am reminded of things that I am grateful … Continue reading

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A Public Service Announcement

Health Officials in Ontario are warning the general public that due to a higher incidence of rabies than usual in the raccoon population, homeowners should take extra precautions in ensuring that their gates are securely closed, and to refrain from … Continue reading

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Beetin’ Up, Old Age.

I am eating a big bowl of beets right now. Thought you should know. By tomorrow morning at 5:30 am when I’m up to take a wizz I will have forgotten this and worry momentarily that a kidney has burst. Growing … Continue reading

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Where’s Willy? -Or Why Political Correctness Hurts Me on So Many Levels

↑ There are so many things going on in the world today that require our attention. I imagine that this issue is not one of them. However… I hate political correctness. I despise it. Political correctness is a pretense; it’s false and … Continue reading

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WHY I CAN’T BE HINDU

Today I was moving boxes around, remnants of a life unshucked. While driving down Mallard Rd; I looked up for flying ducks. Contemplating isotropic principle, and things probably better left unsaid, I thought, “Maybe I should be Hindu?, Maybe I’d be better fed?’ … Continue reading

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THINGS MY FAMILY TAUGHT ME

In this case, my Grandfather: It doesn’t matter how often you fall down, as long as the number of times you get back up outnumbers it , and try to do so quickly and cheerfully.” Call it a clan, call it … Continue reading

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