And Other Things I’ve learned As a Bachelor -Part 42
I caught a Lemon Shark once. I put it in my salt water pool and added a generous amount of tequila. It died.
Where’s a Nurse Shark when you need one.
If you ever have to fight a shark don’t invite it to a cage match.
A Tiger Shark has no sense of fashion.
Hammerheads have been known to drink too much. …Fish!
I know, undeniably, that sharks do not live in the Great Lakes.
That, however, does not prevent me from peeing myself every time a piece of seaweed
touches my leg.
Just like two guys with the same name may not get along, neither will Bull Sharks and Bulldogs. “Sorry Angus! Who knew?!
Originally posted on Mitch Teemley: “Friends say to me a lot, ‘Monogamy is not natural.’ And I always, say, ‘Well, neither are toilets, but when you don’t use them, things get very messy.’” ~Andrew Gurland (creator of the TV series Married) My wife and I are known for having a strong marriage. And it’s true,…
via Monogamy Is Not Natural! — Mitch Teemley
There is no Death. Although you may die.
Freedom is won.
But don’t take no lives.
Rise Up. Rise up!
This too shall pass.
And you shall inherit, “at last, at last!”
Too sting and fly,
And solidly stand,
Your’ women are prophets
And Other Things I’ve learned As a Bachelor -Part 66
I pet a shark once. It smiled at me and swam away. I believe we are off to a good start!
A fight with a Blue Shark can sometimes be averted if you simply ask, “How are you feeling?”
Sharks do not mistake people for seals when they attack. They know who we are bio-chemically and electrically. They just don’t give a sh!t.
Dolphins don’t attack sharks in the presence of humans to help us out. They attack sharks because sharks are d!cks!
Tomato soup can save your life. Your life, not mine. I hate the stuff.
I believe that tomato soup may have procreative abilities behind closed cupboard doors.
Whenever I go rummaging I always seem to have way more of them than before.
I have a sneaking suspicion that they are devouring my mushroom soup under cover of dark.
Bachelor Advice: The product below is neither suitable for low fat diets, nor for anyone really.
Rating: 1 star for sustenance.
Posted in bachelorhood, food, Humour, Uncategorized
Tagged bachelor, bachelorhood, boon2you, boon4you, food, funny, humor, ontario, soup
Here’s to my hero
Enough of this body!
Today is now free.
Speed that transcended
Both butterfly and bee.
And now, for an encore
Where Word, spirit, mind and body mesh.